The Perfect Parent! It does exsist!

Written 16 April, 2014

There are a few common themes in blogs that record the messy, marvellous journey that is raising small humans. Birth stories, breastfeeding journeys and the struggles of working parents are rife and I’ve added a record of my own experiences to the mix. Sleep deprivation, public parenting faux pas and baby food recipes are surely in the top ten topics. But an overarching paradigm that seems to be able to worm its way in to any blog about raising little people is that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We are all just struggling through, doing the best we can on the day, hoping like hell that we don’t screw up our small people too badly through our own inadequacies. We are reassured that small people are resilient creatures and so long as you try your best, no doubt they’ll be fine.

I want to argue with this a little bit. I agree, parenting can be a struggle. I agree, learning to live from day to day (sometimes from hour to hour) has been essential. I agree, if adults were as adaptable and forgiving as babies and young children the world would be a much happier place, full of intrapersonal understanding and celebrating simpler joys. What I don’t fully agree with is saying there is no such thing as a perfect parent.

I know with every cell in my being that there is not another person on this planet that can mother Alice like I can. I am her perfect parent, and I’m not going to apologise for saying it. And there is not a man in the universe that could possibly replace her father. People care for her and take care of her, which is wonderful, but no one can replace us.

No one can replace you, either.

Some perfect parents use disposable nappies. Some buy three tanks of water a year to wash cloth ones, and smile at their full washing line every once in a while.

Some perfect parents sit their small person in a baby bouncer while they puree a kilo of pumpkin, others stand for twenty-five minutes in the supermarket isle deciding on prepared food flavours. And weighing up best value for money. And thinking of craft ideas for the jars. And maybe even kicking themselves for leaving the coupons at home.

Perfect parents breastfeed until their small person is four years old. Or three days old. Maybe somewhere in between or not at all? Hmm, okay. Perfect parents make decisions and sacrifices and at the end of the day, feed their children one way or another.

Perfect parents work. Sometimes it’s even paid.

Perfect parents leave their exhausted small people to cry sometimes, and perfect parents sometimes cry themselves. It’s not hormones, it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s emotion that is intensified by having your heart live outside your body.

Perfect parents make mistakes, but I believe this is a redundant statement. You made mistakes before you were a parent, didn’t you? People make mistakes whether they are parents or not. Stuffing up is not a new concept to perfect parents, they just have their heart and soul invested in the small person who is potentially effected by it. People make mistakes, perfect parents take those mistakes seriously.

Parent on, perfect mums and dads. No one comes close to taking your place in raising your small person. You are an inspiration for the decisions you make every day, for the sacrifices you make every day, for making choices that make this incredible job a little easier and more enjoyable for you and your children. Parent on, and celebrate your perfectness.